Tempermants

Currently at my Bible study group we are studying a book called 'Women of Worth'. It is from Focus on the Family. We did one other book from this series already that was good. This one is giving us a chance to look at who we each are as a person and learn to love and accept that we each have worth.

Last night we looked at four different temperaments of personality. Everyone is a make up of four temperaments but we always have one that is more prominent than the others.
Last night I learned a lot about not only my own temperament , but Ryan's and Rawley's as well.

It was very interesting to me.

Sanguines love to have fun. Put them in a room with people, and they have a great time. They are easy to get along with; people generally like them. Sanguines are very expressive, enthusiastic and emotional; and they have a sense of humor, are creative and enjoy people. They need attention, affection, approval and acceptance. On the downside, they are usually considered scatterbrained or disorganized, not detail oriented, often gullible or naive, and seldom serious minded.

Rawley is definitely the above. Not all the characteristics match him but I have made bold the ones that do. After my cousin pointed out to me that this was how she viewed Rawley I totally agreed and it was like a little light bulb went on. Learning about different personalities makes it easier to understand why certain people act certain ways. Sometimes his personality and mine do not mesh because we are very different, but this is how he was made. This is who he is so I am going to have to learn that I need to be more patient with some of the things he does because they make him the wonderful little person he is.

Phlegmatics are natural peacemakers. They are quiet observers in the group, content to sit back and take one day at a time without getting their feathers ruffled. Phlegmatics get along with practically everybody. They need a sense of respect, feeling or worth and emotional support. being easygoing and content are great qualities, but when taken to the extreme, the phlegmatic can be seen as indecisive, lazy and unmotivated. And under all that reserve, there is a hidden stubbornness.

I think Ryan is Phlegmatic (as per bold characteristics). I have always said that we get along so well because I am moody and kind of bossy. I like things to be done a certain way (the right way) and Ryan seems to be okay with going with the flow. He is relaxed and laid back while I am tense and high strung. I never realized that this quality that I love about Ryan so much is the same quality that drives me crazy sometimes. Ryan never plans anything or makes decisions. If he is not asked to do something he will kinda just chill out and do nothing. This is where I see him as being 'indecisive, lazy and unmotivated'. So, I am going to have to learn to take the good with the bad, because f that is one of the reasons we get a long so well, then I will have to accept that he needs more motivation because that is just who he is and how he works. If this truly is his temperament I need to also make sure I give him a feeling or worth and support him emotionally (something I did not know he needed).

Now me:
Melancholics are thinkers. Many artists, poets and musicians are melancholics. Their analytical minds make them great at math and engineering fields. Much more reserved than extroverts, melancholics prefer a quiet atmosphere and chose friends cautiously. they often exhibit a servant's heart from which other temperaments an learn. They have a need for a sense of stability, space, silence, and support. on the downside, melancholics can become moody and easily depressed. Perfectionist attitudes can also give way to criticism of self and others.

Knowing this about myself has also giving me insight on why I do things the way I do and why certain things bother me. I have always tested as an extrovert in my life but lately I have noticed that may not be accurate. Being places that are busy and loud always stress me out. I need to have quiet and calm to think and feel peaceful. This is often a problem at home when our child is a Sanguine who is very loud expressive, enthusiastic and wants to be with us all the time. It is also nice to know that I am moody because of a predetermined temperament. This does not mean it is a great trait to have but it means that I am normal.

I printed these descriptions off and am going to post them on my fridge at home. I think it is good to be reminded why people act the way they do and love them for who they are. I also plan to talk about it with Rawley a bit. I would like to explain to him that we all need to meet each other in the middle somewhere . We will try to understand that he needs interaction, attention, and affection and we will try to give him that but he will also have to understand that I need to have peace and quiet sometimes. I need time to think and be peaceful. When Rawley undertsand why something has to happen orhy he has to do something he is always more inclined to do it because there is a reason. This sometimes is frustrating because as a child I was taught, "because I said so" and that was that you didn't argue. When yourmom or dad told you to do something you just did it. You didn't have to like it, but you still had to do it. I try this with Rawley in hopes that he will just figure it out but it is a battle. So, when I can I try to give him a reason for why somethinghas to be done or be stopped. Thiscreates a more relaxed atmosphere for myself.

Sidenote: Rawley got his hair cut on Tuesday night and he is now sporting a pretty cute mohawk. I will take some photos tonight (if I remember)