So, I had my MRI yesterday. It did not go so well.
I got there and lied down on the board, they braced my head and slide me in. I had my eyes closed but then for some reason opened them. I could not believe how small the tube was that they slide me into. I instantly started to panic, my heart was pounding, I started crying. I tried for what felt like forever to calm myself (was probably more like 10 seconds) but could not. I had a squeeze the emergency ball so they could pull me out.
I was so embarrassed. I apologized and told the tech that I have had MRIs before and been fine. She asked if I wanted to stop or try again. She also told me not to open my eyes at all and even offered to cover them with a clothe.
I decided to try again. I left my arms down so that my hands could hang outside of the tube. This for some reason made me feel somewhat calmer. At least I knew the edge was there somewhere and that if I really needed to I could get myself out.
I still panicked a lot, my heart was pounding so hard. Obviously Nudge was wondering what on earth was going on because as my heart raced he/she flipped and kicked and moved about a lot. I couldn't sing to myself (which is how I usually self soothe) because I could not move my head/face at all so I hummed. I hummed as many upbeat happy songs as I could think of and I hummed as loud as I could.
25 minutes felt like eternity in there. It was awful.
Yesterday I was really down on myself for being so spastic, but today I prefer to blame the machine. The last MRIs I had were in Nanaimo and the machine was totally different.
In Nanaimo:
~ The tube is much bigger; at least 10 inches between my face & the machine wall
~ The tube is lit on the inside
~ There is a mirror on the inside so you can see out of the tunnel
~ I had ear phone to listen to music
~ The technicians were very soothing and wonderful
~ The technicians talked me through it on the speakers
~ I think the tube was open on both ends
I got there and lied down on the board, they braced my head and slide me in. I had my eyes closed but then for some reason opened them. I could not believe how small the tube was that they slide me into. I instantly started to panic, my heart was pounding, I started crying. I tried for what felt like forever to calm myself (was probably more like 10 seconds) but could not. I had a squeeze the emergency ball so they could pull me out.
I was so embarrassed. I apologized and told the tech that I have had MRIs before and been fine. She asked if I wanted to stop or try again. She also told me not to open my eyes at all and even offered to cover them with a clothe.
I decided to try again. I left my arms down so that my hands could hang outside of the tube. This for some reason made me feel somewhat calmer. At least I knew the edge was there somewhere and that if I really needed to I could get myself out.
I still panicked a lot, my heart was pounding so hard. Obviously Nudge was wondering what on earth was going on because as my heart raced he/she flipped and kicked and moved about a lot. I couldn't sing to myself (which is how I usually self soothe) because I could not move my head/face at all so I hummed. I hummed as many upbeat happy songs as I could think of and I hummed as loud as I could.
25 minutes felt like eternity in there. It was awful.
Yesterday I was really down on myself for being so spastic, but today I prefer to blame the machine. The last MRIs I had were in Nanaimo and the machine was totally different.
In Nanaimo:
~ The tube is much bigger; at least 10 inches between my face & the machine wall
~ The tube is lit on the inside
~ There is a mirror on the inside so you can see out of the tunnel
~ I had ear phone to listen to music
~ The technicians were very soothing and wonderful
~ The technicians talked me through it on the speakers
~ I think the tube was open on both ends
~Nanaimo one looked like this~
In Abbotsford:
~ The tube is tiny; like 3 inches between my face and the wall
~ The tube was quite dark inside (compared to Nanaimo)
~ There was no mirror and I could see nothing
~ I had ear plugs...no music to sooth
~ The technicians were cold and unfriendly
~ The technicians did not talk to me at all to tell me what was happening.
~ The tube was closed at other end.
~ The Abbotsford one was more like these two~
~Next time I want one one these MRI scanners~
*pictures were taken from Google Images.
3 comments:
OH MY GOODNESS. Why would the make a tube that small? How are you doing now? Have you had any panic attacks since then? Love to you.
Did they get the pictures they needed?
Leah: I am fine now that I am out.
Rach: I hope so, the second time i managed to stay in the whole time (which felt like eternity)
I had a really hard time thinking of songs to hum and everytime I stopped humming I paniced so I mostly hummed "I've got peace like a River" over and over again.. Very loud.
I have no idea why that song came to my head. Don't think I have sang it since Sunday school... but it worked.
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