Oh The Guilt

Last night close to bedtime Rawley was complaining he had a headache. I assumed he just had a headache because I had a headache. I have been laying on the couch getting waited on because of my headache so I figured he just wanted in on it.

Then he woke up at 11:30 and came to tell me his head really hurt. He kinda had a half cry thing going on. I could not decipher whether is was a fake cry or an 'I am half asleep cry'. I gave him some Motrin and water and sent him back to bed. Still not really sure if he was making it up or not.

This morning when I went to wake him up he said, "NO! I have to go see a doctor or something, it is not my head it is my ear and it really hurts!"

oh no, I think Rawley may have an ear infections. Guilt #1 was not really thinking anything was wrong. Poor Rawley. His ear is very red and hurts a lot. I checked his temp and it was not high but our thermometer was bought in May or 2002 (when Rawley was born) so it may not be accurate.

Guilt #2... I sent him to school anyway. I know I am an awful awful mom!! At least I think I am. The thing is....I missed 3 hours of work yesterday (see end of post) and am going to miss 3 hours of work today to go for our ultrasound in New West. I can't miss any more work. Specially since the manager is away till the 22nd and I am running the office. Ryan has also missed work for doctors appointment and ultrasounds and his boss has expressed that he is not cool with it. CRAP!!!

I do not expect Rawley to stay at school all day suffering from what I believe is an ear infection... I just need him to hold out till like 10/10:30 so that my dad can get some sleep before having to pick him up from school and take him to the doctor. Oh my dad also has Rawley till 6 tonight, until we come back from our ultrasound. Being that my dad is not feeling well it is exhausting for him to have Rawley all day. Which is Guilt #3.

Thank God I get to see Nudge today on the little screen... that should make me feel a little better.

* I missed 3 hours of work yesterday. I have having the worst of all my headaches yesterday. To the point of crying. I called my doctors office and they wanted to see me. The doctor wrote me a prescription but wanted me to see a neurologist. The neurologist just happened to be at the ER in Abby and had some free time so he asked to see me right away. After checking me out doing some minor tests he concluded it is probably just migraines. The weird thing is that I have no history of migraines and it is odd to start having them during pregnancy (awful hormonal headaches are normal, migraines are not) It also was concerning that this was week 6 of the headaches on an almost everyday basis. So, he wants an MRI to rule out some other possibilities. He is not really concerned that it is anything more but would feel better ruling them out.
Next week I have my MRI, until then I am on High Blood Pressure pills 3x a day and T3 with codeine and caffeine as needed, up to 3 at a time every 4 hours. If in the end my MRI comes back normal but the meds are not working they will give me steroids.

All of the above is safe for me and baby. The neurologist said what is not safe for me and baby is to be in this much pain for such a long time.

I feel relieved just knowing that we are going to fix it. Not today and probably not tomorrow, but it relief is in the future.

Did I mention that I cannot wait to see Nudge today on that little ultrasound screen.... Somehow seeing that little baby makes me feel that this is all worth it. I guess that is normal.