A Change Will Come

I am so angry with Rawley's school right now. I am also angry with his meds and the system we work on.

ADHD is such an awful thing and so many kids have it now. What is causing all these children to have these problems? I have read about food colouring being a cause, possibly chemicals in food, home life......they have a million ideas of what might cause it but no one is sure.

Right before spring break Rawley got in trouble at lunch again and was told he would have to eat by himself in the medic room until spring break. Then after spring break he came home and said he will be eating his lunch in the medic room until the school year is over. That is 3.5 months of eating alone. At first I didn't really know if he was accurate. So I waited it out a week then emailed his teacher about my concerns. After another week of not hearing back I went to Rawley's school to talk it out. I was sure Rawley had misunderstood. I mean 3.5 months of discipline for a 7 year old is a little extreme.

Rawley was not wrong. I sat and talked with the principle and his teacher about my concerns and they assured me that yes that was the new arrangement. I was speechless. They explained that Rawley is in trouble at eating time 6 times out of 10 and gets removed from the class anyway. He can never keep his voice down and refuses to sit in this chair at his desk.
I understand these frustrations they are experiencing because Rawley has these problems at home. The fact is he is not "refusing" to sit still.....HE CAN"T SIT STILL. He has a hyperactive disorder that is not being treated right and he can not control himself.

I expressed to them both my concerns of having Rawley alienated from his classmates for the next 3+ months. They told me they understood how I felt but they had no more ideas of what could be done.......

I would like to note that never in all their frustration have they ever tried to contact Ryan or myself about Rawley's behaviour or his discipline. They removed him from his class for over 3 months because they were out of ideas yet they never once thought....'Hey, let's call Rawley's parents, have a conference and see if all together we can not come up with a better alternative.' What is wrong with them?

They have no problem writing me a note home because Rawley broke another boys pencil and will now have to forfeit one of his own to the other boy, but remove him from class for 3+ months and don't tell me????? Do they have their priorities right? I think not.

Anyway, I talked with them both and explained that Rawley needs to receive his medicine at a certain time everyday and that if he doesn't they are setting him up for failure. By missing his meds by even 15 minutes they are chancing having Rawley be disruptive. This is hard on Rawley, all his classmates, his teachers and ultimately the principle too.

Rawley's meds are a 4 hour release (give or take a few minutes) and once he misses a dose or takes it late his body almost goes into withdrawl and his behaviour is worse than if he did not take it all, then they give him his meds late and he has to readjust. That is a big shock to a little system and it was happening everyday at school. He was taking his meds anywhere form 30 minutes to 2 hours late regularly.

I told them that I feel no one cares enough or thinks it is a big deal. If he had a life threatening illness they certainly would not forget his meds but because is it ADHD they don't think it matters. She understood what I meant and almost even agreed with me but said that they just can't promise it will happen everyday. So, the solution was that Rawley gets a watch with an alarm on it. Once the alarm goes off he has to quickly quiet it than asked be be excused to go to the office and take his meds. This leaves the entire thing up to Rawley. Not the greatest solution but I was willing to try anything. A good reliable watch was bought over the weekend.

As far as Rawley being separated from his class to eat... they finally decided that they would try to integrate him back in. He could have 2 friends sit with him outside the class and eat for a week, if he could sit quietly in his chair the entire time than they might try to move him back in. The friends had to be two friends that do not rile him up but help him remain calm.

This morning I talked with Rawley about how well things worked yesterday and this is what I found out. He missed the alarm on his watch because they had gym at that time and he didn't want to wear his watch during gym class so they had him set it down on the benches where he could not hear the alarm go off. He missed his pill again by 45 minutes. Now a better solution would be for him to hand his watch to his teacher and have her listen for the alarm or have someone else watching out for him because he is participating in gym and he is only 7 and he should not have to do it all. So now I have had to tell Rawley he can not take his watch off at all for anything at school.

Then while Rawley and his 2 friends were eating their lunch at the hall table where they were suppose to be the lunch monitor came and split them up because she thought they were all in trouble and when you are in trouble you cannot sit together. Maybe just maybe the teacher or the principle should have given the lunch monitors a heads up on the situation. Rawley tried to explain it to the lunch monitor but you can only imagine how well that would have gone.

Because Rawley missed his pill he had a very unsuccessful day full of loud impulsive behaviour. Speaking out of turn without raising his hand is his main problem. He ended up with 7 minutes of detention yesterday and I can't help but think that may have been avoidable if only they cared enough to make sure he was on track with his meds.

I understand the teachers frustration, I really do. We have that same little boy at home with us and it is exhausting. All this past weekend we have played with Rawley's meds a bit. Instead of just taking his meds in the morning and before noon we also gave him it late in the afternoon. We had a few incidents but our weekend was fairly calm and manageable. Rawley did not argue as much, he did not interrupt as much, he did not run, jump and fiddle so much. He could sit down and have a normal conversation without just yelling or walking away.

Then last night we went back to his normal schedule and I could not believe my eyes. Rawley could not practice his spelling words with out yelling some letters, whispering some, climbing the couch, sliding off the couch, twirling, jumping, interrupting himself......and it was only 12 words. He was asked to sit at the table and write them out but his printing was huge and messy and all over the page, he swung his legs and bashed his hands on the table, he twirled his pencil, and folded his paper at the corners. He sat backwards in his chair, talked about other things, made popping noises with his mouth. He just could not handle the task. And each time I asked him to sit nice and write out his words he yelled, "I am!"

He was right in a sense. He is trying.....but no matter how hard he tries he cannot do it, not the way a normal child can. It is tiring and exhausting for us and him. Then we get angry with him so a night that could be spent doing a lot of stuff quite happily turns into a night of doing only one thing with much anger and aggravation. It is not fare to us or Rawley.

So, Rawley has a doctors appointment next Monday and we are going to talk to the doctor about switching meds. I would like to try him on Concerta extended release. It is a once a day extended release pill. This means that he will not have to remember to take it at school, it will slowly release throughout the day and into early evening so he can manage himself at home and at school and it has less side effects on his sleeping pattern.

The medicine he is on now is not suppose to be taken after noon because it keeps him awake at night. Although many other people we talk to have their kids on the same stuff at 3 doses a day and then a sleeping pill at night. (Gravol or other) I am not sure I want Rawley taking a sleeping pill every night. Sometimes now when he struggles at night we give him melatonin to help him go to sleep and that is okay with me, but it is not a daily thing and it is not a drug.

My concerns with Concerta is that it is only approved for 6 year olds and up and because of Rawley's size they may not approve him to be on it. Rawley is only in the 7th percentile for weight and he is below the 3rd percentile for height. If he does not meet the required size he may not qualify.

Other than that I am out of ideas for what to do to help Rawley. I have looked into natural solutions but come out lost. I am not sure what direction to go with it, how much testing is done? Who is going to pay for it? How do I know it will work?

I have asked over and over to have extra help with Rawley at school but because he is so intelligent they will not even try to get help for him. They only supply aids to children who have mental disabilities, not behavioural. I was told that even even they were able to get someone to assess Rawley at school nothing would happen because they would just see a bright student who is badly behaved. They do not see that as a disability. They do not see that as something that required any sort of assistance.

From all the research done and all the things we know about ADHD you would think they would want to help the kids in other ways than just medication. A little help at school could change their lives.

"When children and adolescents with ADHD go untreated or are inadequately treated, they can be at risk for developing poor academic performance and poor social skills which can lead to more significant consequences later in life, including unemployment, criminal behaviour and substance misuse."
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/29124.php
also a good one
http://www.concerta.net/children/adhd-treatment-index.html


I want Rawley to have the best chance at a happy successful life.... I don't think that is too much to ask. I am hoping and praying that we find some solutions at the doctors office next Monday.

If anyone out there in blog land has any information, ideas or possible solutions I would love to hear them.