Not Enough Hours in a Day

I am finding it really hard to be home and have Everett still in the hospital. Besides the obvious reasons of just not having your baby with you, I am just running out of time to get everything done in a day.

I try to show up just before 9am, 12pm & 3pm everyday for sure. This way I arrive just as he is waking up. Through the port holes of the incubator I get you change his diaper, take his temperature, move his O2 monitor from one foot to the other and then feed and burp him. This takes about a half hour, then I stay there and pump which takes just over a half hour. By the time I leave I only have just over an hour to come home to eat, clean up an bit and try to sleep for 30 minutes. It is really hard but I don't want to miss any opportunity I have to be with him.

Most nights this week we have also gone back as a family at 6pm and then at 8. Just after 8pm they take him out to weigh him and if his vitals are all good, we can sometimes sneak a little cuddle.

Everett has been showing signs of getting better everyday. They have confirmed he has pneumonia in one lung so he has to remain on antibiotics. Yesterday they were able to take him off Oxygen and his levels stayed good all day long. This is huge because when he does not need the extra oxygen we have more chances to take him out and hold him.

They have been giving him my expressed milk for a few days and that seems to have calmed him down a lot. He sleeps better between feeds and his breathing and slowed a bit. They want his breathing to be under 60 and Everett is often up around 100. So he see it slow and see him calm down is wonderful.

Yesterday I got to take him out and give him his bottle at 3pm because all his vitals were so good all day.

He also managed to finish off 2 consecutive bottles of 35mls. He does have a feeding tube now because 35 mls is a lot for a little one to try to suck so if he gets tired they put the remaining milk down his tube. The feeding tube is really not as awful as I thought is would be. Ryan still hates it though. Last night Auntie Merry kept Rawley so Ryan and I could go to the hospital at 8pm by ourselves and spend some quality time with Everett. He was doing so well that they let me try to breast feed him. He was so eager and was latching really well. He does have an incredibly small mouth so we still had some troubles, but he did amazing for his first attempt. We were able to keep him out for almost 2 hours and Ryan and Everett had the most amazing cuddle ever. It was so cute. Everett seems to do really well when being held. He calms down and all his vitals stay within the range they want. He really loves his daddy.

As for me. I was discharged at noon on Wednesday. They sent me down to the NICU to wait for Ryan to come get me. The discharge did not go well. I was given 30 minutes to pack everything up and leave my room and I was all Alone and not feeling great so I had a good cry. One of my two favorite nurses came to see me and she hugged me and helped me with everything. They never told me much when I left....like when I need to see my doctor again, when I need to have my staples removed...what to do if I get the gas pains.

Turns out at about 5:30 that night I got the gas pains again. The worst ones I had ever had. We were at home and had to return to the hospital. It was awful because Rawley was with us and I was crying/moaning A LOT. I could barely take a breath and Rawley seemed very scared. When we got to emerg they took me right in and I was seen by a doc within 15 minutes. The nurses had an IV in (my 5th) and were giving me morphine before the doctor even had time to come see me (bless her heart). Finally I felt some relief. The doctor still checked to make sure gas was all it was, he did an ultrasound to rule out fluid in the tummy and checked me over really well. Then before leaving he gave me morphine pills to take home with me. Poor Rawley had a rough night. Once I explained that I am okay and nothing is really wrong except I am in pain and I just need some medicine to make it go away he seemed to be okay.

I also found out that I should probably have had my stitches out already. After 3 or 4 days the skin starts to heal over the stitched and then it hurts a lot to have them out. Today is day 6 for me. I called the dr. office as soon as I found this out and they tried to get me in yesterday but I could not make it, so I am a little nervous about my appointment today.

I will just keep thinking about Everett and how well he is doing, how cute he is and how right after my appointment I will get to go see him.... that should get me through it. :)