The Effort

One of the most exhausting things we deal with with Rawley is the idea that nothing is good enough. I know it is a symptom of ADHD. He doesn't complete some assignments at school because no matter how many times to restarts it, it is never good enough to hand in so he just doesn't do it.
He is also like this at home. No matter what we decide to do Rawley never wants to do it because it will not be any fun. The thing is usually he ends up having a great time.
Our walk the other night was a good example.
I told Rawley that we were going to go for a walk along the river and then afterword we would go play at the park he has been asking to go to.
He decided he did not want to play at the park anymore if he had to go for a walk first.
He said, "Walks are boring"
"I won't have anything to do while we walk"
"Can I bring something to do?"
"I just hate walking"
"Let's just stay home"
Well I made him go and he whined all the way there and then we ended up having a wonderful evening.
We walked at the Riverbank Discovery Centre Trail. (www.riverbank.mb.ca). We stopped and read all the plaques about the animals and birds that lived there. We saw some beaver trails and Rawley think he saw a dam.

As we walked along we saw some deer. There were 3 of them. I think it was one momma and 2 babies. We were about 30 feet away from them.

This baby still has its spots.

Everett enjoyed his walk.

I love that they have Bison on the lamp posts. They are all about their bison here.

After our walk we took Rawley to the park just as promised. Rawley played with the kids there. He brought some cars to the park with him and they raced them down the slides. Rawley seems to make friends were ever we go. He never assumes someone does not want to play with him he just walks up and starts playing. I know that some kids might find it annoying, but I am happy he is that outgoing. When I was a kid I was so scared of others that I never talked to other kids unless they talked to me first.

Everett got to go down the slide too.

We are trying to get Everett to take Nuk soothers now. We love his green ones from the hospital and he is very attached to them but there is no way to clip them on to his clothes. We always have to have one hand holding on to it. It falls on the ground more often than not and we have to clean it. When we had Everett at the hockey game I decided I wanted to have a sucky with a clip. So far Everett has not totally refused it, but when he is really upset he wants his green sucky.

Rawley at the top of the slide.

Beautiful sunset.

As we were leaving the park and driving home we saw a bunch of deer in a field. When I say a bunch I mean like 40 or 50 of them. So we decided to drive home the long way past all the big fields. I can not believe how many deer we saw. Before we got home I bet we saw over 300 deer. We were joking about how we are all looking off to the side of the road for deer and then one is going to jump out right in front of the car. Then once we were almost home one did run across the road right in front of us. Unfortunately I didn't get many great pictures of them but here is one.

Go Wheat Kings

Friday night Ryan's parents took us to the Wheat Kings home opener game. It was the first time Rawley had been to one of their games and Everett's first hockey game ever. I was really nervous about taking Everett specially since we were seating in the middle of a row and not near and isle. I have to say though that he did great.
I did have to get up with him while they were announcing all the players because there was a flame thrower, the announcer yelling, horns blowing and many people shaking cow bells. It was scaring him. Once the game started though he was pretty good. He still was not found of a good play or a goal because that meant loud noises but he did okay. He slept in my arms the first period, Hung out with Grandma & Grandpa during the second period and then fell asleep near the end of the third period.
I was also nervous about having Rawley out that late as his meds wear off around 6pm. Rawley was actually very well behaved. He asked his usually 3 million question and demanded food, but that is all manageable behaviour.
It was a great night.

Rawley, Everett & dad pre-game

Grandma & Grandpa sitting across from us (2 in jerseys 5th row down)

Everett really enjoyed watching the guys doing their warm up.

Getting ready to announce players.

When each guy came out the flames shot up, Rawley loved this.

Everett was done before the game.

Thank You Grandma & Grandpa.

Looking for Advice

I am looking for advice...

The four month mark for Everett is next Monday. That is suppose to mean that his Colic should be tapering off or almost gone... I am not seeing the signs of that yet.

I have been reading 'Happiest Baby on the Block' (thank you Janie for the suggestion) and It says that colic or fussiness can last 4 months in a regular baby so it looks like Everett technically has another month to go if I count from his corrected age.

I am getting tired. I guess it shows when I write about my frustration and tiredness. Last night Ryan told me that he was actually concerned about me and whether I am going to snap. That really hurt my feelings but at the same time I was happy he was noticing my stress levels. Ryan really does help out a lot. Once he gets home he takes Everett. At night he spends time with Everett while I do things like cleaning, making bottles, putting away laundry. It is a huge help because those tasks become very difficult with a baby permanently attached to me. Even if he is in the snugli and I have free arms. It is difficult to bend over or reach anything directly in front of me. So I am grateful for his help.

Ryan also gets up once a night with Everett and feeds him and changes his bum. Or if it is the morning feed and Everett is really fussy he will stay up with Everett in the living room and calm him.

With this much help you would think my life would be stress-free and easy yet I am still struggling.

The 10 minute intervals of sleep is getting to me. I often find myself not consoling Everett but just sitting there with him screaming at me. I have joked about flushing him down the toilet and offered to sell him last night.....so I can see Ryan's cause for concern.

However, I know that I am not going to lose it... and if I was ever feeling like I was I would take Everett over to Ryan's mom's house or give him to Ryan (if he is home). Just to put you all at ease.

I am feeling very inadequate, tired, stupid and lost.

It is like I have totally forgotten everything about babies, my mothers instinct is blank, and I worry that if I take him back to the doctors they are going to think I am nuts.

I am looking for any advice on how to soothe him, how to help him sleep at night, books to read on raising preemies, books to read on just raising infants.

Things we have tried:
Swaddling,
Laying on Side
Shushing
Soothers,
Ovol
Gripe Water
Colic Tablets
Probiotic drops
Easy Digest Formulas
Mixture of 2 formulas
Soy Formula

I am afraid to let him, cry it out because he is so young and in pain and I want to soothe him. Even during the days now he rarely sleeps without being held. He wakes up crying and though I have left him for a while to see if he will calm himself it does not work. Much on my day is spent on the couch with Everett in my arms. I can't sleep during these times because he is fussing in his sleep and I am constantly soothing by patting his back..rubbing his back, bouncing or rocking him.

I know I am going to have to just wait it out and I know it will eventually go away..but I am looking for help on what I can do in the mean time.

A Day In The Life...

...of Rawley.

This year Rawley does not have to get up early so I don't often have to wake him at all. If he is up early he is allowed to watch TV from 7-7:30. 7:30 is time to start getting ready for school. He is usually out the door by 8:43. We live about 1 1/2 blocks from the school so he walks there himself and has to be there by the first bell which rings at 8:50am.

When we moved here I was so shocked to find out that the kids must go home for lunches. "What?" If I want him to stay at school to eat I have to pay $25 a month to have him supervised. It just seemed absurd. I am kind of liking the little visits with him at lunch though. I also know he is eating a good healthy meal and not getting in to trouble. The only down side would be if I want to go out of town or run errands.

Rawley gets home for lunch at about 11:45 and he has to stay home till 12:05 because there are no outside supervisors at the school till 12:10pm. He then rushes back to the school to play soccer with the other kids. They get play time till 12:40.

Rawley's school also has an afternoon recess where they get to go outside and play again. Then at 3:30 he is dismissed to come home.

I can't believe my big boy is walking himself to and from school. I snuck pictures of him the other day.

Everett Update

Everett has been on a mixture of 2 different formulas (soy & lactose free) since last week Tuesday. Shortly after he started throwing up and having diarrhea. The throwing up only lasted a day but the grotesque runny smelly poops 8-10 times a day has continued.

He is even waking up to poop through the night. It is busy and smelly and gross.

We have noticed a change in him on these formulas. I am not sure if it is for the better though or not. He is still having a lot of fussy times. The mornings are still really rough but in a different way. Before when he was fussing in the morning we could rub his back and comfort him and then he would sleep through most of it. Now it is a full blown cry and there is not much we can do to make it stop. That is a con. He is farting a lot less so having less gas cramping..pro. He is pooping a ton so everything is moving through his system well without getting clogged up....pro. His poops are the most disgusting thing ever and there are so many...con.

We ran out of the lactose free formula today. Everett is on 1/2 Good Start and 1/2 Soy (despite my fears of being on soy the doctor says it is best). Today he has slept a lot so it has been hard to tell if there is any difference. We should notice a change in the next day or 2 if it is going to get worse or better.

We have pin pointed his worst times of day between 5 & 8am then again between 5 & 8pm. The morning is the hardest because we are both so tired. Plus in the evening if we put him in his snugli and go for a walk we can usually keep him happy. Something about the way his snugli holds him he stays content and he loves to be outside.

The optimistic in me is excited though because going by his corrected age he is almost 3 months and that is when colic is suppose to start tapering off, to be fully gone by 4 months. I so hope they are right. This has been quite a trip.

Happier things to discuss:

Between Everett's fussy times he is becoming quite a little bundle of joy. He is almost full out laughing and he smiles all the time. He loves to smile at ceiling fans, hi giraffe rattle and anyone that will pay attention to him . He almost laughs a little when I sing goofy songs to him and when Rawley is being silly. I love that when Ryan comes home from work Everett will almost always smile at him like, 'oh there you are..I have missed you'

Everett hanging out in his Bumbo chair.

Laughing at Mommy being silly.
This morning Ryan put this shirt on Everett and then came and woke me up. He was indeed poopy. This shirt suits him well but I think he tried to hard to live up to it, because later this morning he not only pooped his pants, it was in his jeans, in his diaper shirt, on the change pad.......you get the picture.

If you can't read it the shirt say, "I believe..I pooped my pants"

Oh and last Tuesday Everett weighed 12lbs 5oz and was 24 inches long.

Catching Up

Dinner is in the oven, the house is cleaning and Everett is sleeping in his swing.

Now with my moment of peace I can update you on our great weekend.
Ryan's parents have their trailer at a campground over the summer. They have been doing it for quite a few years now and have got to know all the other annual campers. A small group of them get together for happy hour and campfire almost every weekend. During this time all empty beer cans are collected and the money is saved for an end of year dinner.
The money they get from beer cans from May - September is impressive.

This year Ryan and I were invited to the round-up dinner. They deep fried a turkey, cooked a ham and then bought a bunch of salads and buns. The food was wonderful and the party was fun.
It was raining all day so the guys got together and put up a variety of tarps up so that we would stay dry. We certainly were not going to let the rain spoil our fun.

There was plenty of food and drinks to go round. Everyone was in to some kind of alcoholic beverage I am sure. I was a really nice night.

Then Charades started...and went on for hours. It was a lot of fun. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I did find it to be a lot of work though to have both kids at a BBQ/Party and then getting them both to sleep in the trailer. Over all it was a really nice weekend so thank you mom & dad for inviting us.

The guys setting up the tarps to keep us dry.

Staying warm by the fire.

Visiting

Everett & his babysitter, Don

Charades

Everett sleeping int he add-a-room

The next morning

BARF

Sick baby
barfing, diarrhea, screaming, crying, and sleeping in my arms.
Poor sick baby.

Pediatrician saw Everett yesterday and changed his formula. Instead of putting him on one kind he wants him on a mixture of 2. He says that babies with an extremely sensitive stomach need less formula. They used to dilute formula with water but then baby only gets 1/2 of recommended nutrients.
So, now they dilute it with a different formula. This way they get all nutrients but not too much of one ingredient.
(kind of like taking Tylenol and Advil together; both serve same purpose but are different so that you are not getting too much of one thing but still getting a good dose of pain/fever medication)

Everett liked his new mixture and ate his whole bottle.

A few hours later he threw up.. then had diarrhea, then didn't eat for 9 hours. Then threw up and had diarrhea again.....

Now I am not sure it is a reaction to the formula or a flu. Given the fact that it started after eating the different formula i would want to blame that. However, he was kinda off this weekend. Last few days he has slept more than usual, Sunday he was overly fussy and Monday he didn't want to drink his bottles.

I didn't bring this up with pediatrician yesterday because i wanted to focus on the big picture stiff not have him just hear about the last few days. Now I am trying to call back doctor's office to find out next move.

This poor baby has had it rough.

If I am able to lay Everett down later I will upload and post pictures of our first night at the trailer with Everett. We had a good weekend out at Mom & Dad's campground.