The Cat is Out of The Bag

I finally told my boss I was pregnant yesterday. It was a very hard thing for me to do and I stressed for a long time about when and how to tell him.

My manager and I do not necessarily see eye-to-eye. Actually my boss doesn't really see eye-to-eye with many people.

A little history of my position:
I am an administrative assistant for a industrial sandblasting and painting company. My job is to keep the office in order and make sure the men at our job sites have all the things they need when they are there. I create all the job books and get their safety manual ready. I also order all the supplies as they need it and organize shipping to and from sites all over western Canada. This job is a hard one to learn as it is not very repetitive and there is something new all the time. I had to be here a full year before I had learned everything and then by the time the next year rolled around I almost had to relearn it all. I also do all the insurance on our fleet vehicles, accounts payables, HR stuff....That is the first reason this job is hard. Before I started here they had gone through 6 girls in 5 years. It is hard to get someone who will stay at the job for many reasons. One of many is the manager

The manager is not easy to get along with. I am not sure if the pressure if running a whole branch of a company is what gets to him but he has a habit of blaming, belittling, and just making one feel as though they are completely incompetent. He talks to me in a very disrespectful way. (which I eventually let him know) He has given me three raises and told me on those three different occasions that I am good at my job, but everyday in between he does not make me feel that way. No matter what I do it is wrong or anything that just happens to go wrong is a result of me doing something. Also, he has never made a mistake ever!!! ;)

Girls just get sick of it and quit, (I almost did twice) they can't put up with the way they are treated. So, why have a stayed longer than any other girl? Because the money is good, I have benefits for the first time since Rawley was born, the hours are great, it is actually a very interesting job. I like to be involved in the more manly things out there but this is nice because I get to be involved but still stay inside and sit down. I get to learn things most girls would never understand and I love it, but I don't actually have to get dirty (well not very often) I have occasionally had to drive the forklift, deliver 5 tons trucks to the repair shop and crawl around our huge dusty shop.

Even though my manager has been the major problem here and I have had my ego hurt more than once and tears have certainly flowed down my cheeks. I do have a great bunch of guys out on job sites that appreciate everything I do and stand up for me all the time. I love my site guys. They are polite and courteous to me and say 'thank you' when I do things for them. I know when I leave them with a new girl who does not know what she is doing it will make each one of their jobs harder when they need to call the office for something and no one can help them.

I have really lost my point here... oh right, why was I so scared to tell my manager..

Well we don't talk. We don't even say good morning most of the time, unless it is job related we hardly say a word to each other. He is not so social. So any conversation I have with him is really awkward. He also does not have kids so there is no common ground there. I am well aware of how hard it is going to be to replace me. I am not trying to toot my own horn , but I have put up with A LOT here. I have been yelled at, talked down to, stressed to the limit (bawling like a baby), unappreciated...and for the most part I have done it all without a complaint. When the guys call desperate for something I make sure they get it. I work my butt off here learning everything I need to know and more and I care. I care that I do a good job, I care about all my guys out on the job site that are stranded without respirators or need more time sheets like yesterday. So it was very scary to tell them I was going to be leaving.

My manager gets upset when I miss a day of work how can I tell him I am going to miss 365 days and maybe (definitely) not return at all.

Anyway....... now you know a little bit about my job and why I love it and hate it at the same time.

Now...how did it go when i told them? Well, I was smart about it. I waited till our company president was out from Ontario. I did not want to confront my boss alone. Our president is a really nice guy and has always been respectful and kind to me. He also has 3 kids and we share stories often. I knew he would have more understanding. So, while he was here I got them together after much fretting, shaking, sweating, nausea......... The president said "Congratulations" and seemed genuinely happy for me. He told me not to worry, that we would find a temp and my job would be here if I choose to return. The president and I made small chit chat while my boss just stood there and stared at me not saying a single word. Yikes! Then the room grew silent. I felt awkward so i said, "well that was all" and started to leave the room. with that my boss said, "um, right, okay"

Now if I can make it 6 months without being cornered and drilled with a ton of questions he is not even allowed to ask me I will be happy. Although those that know my boss know that it is almost inevitable. Here's to hoping.

I don't know why my small stories always turn into novels. I guess that is why I started a blog. That way you don't have to listen to (or technically read about) me if you don't want.